I wasn’t planning on writing anything about the COVID-19 global pandemic because… well….I’m more focussed on surviving grief and the loss of a loved one, and how to deal with that kind of personal nightmare. But then all of a sudden the penny dropped.
“You idiot!” I said to myself while rolling my eyes and smacking my forehead, “The whole WORLD is grieving!!!!”
As a widow who lives alone, I’m actually doing OK through this global upheaval, and when others ask how I’m coping, I say “I’m fine. I’ve had some practice.”
This is because I already know what it is like to have everything you thought you knew, snatched away.
Over time I’ve developed coping mechanisms and I’ve made a list of 6 of these which have particularly helped me. I thought I’d share my list as it might help others. 💔
Grief…along with anxiety, stress and depression….is just plain exhausting. It consumes every single aspect of every single day with no reprieve in sight. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to take even a short break? A mini-holiday? I was about 6 weeks into my grief journey when I discovered that I could do just that, so I thought I’d share my experience. It began one day when I went outside to put something into the bin….
Clocks stopping…and going backwards. Music starting up in the middle of the night and things inexplicably (and catastrophically) breaking. It started within hours of receiving the devastating news that my husband Norbert had been killed in a glider crash and over the subsequent couple of weeks it was so obvious that we weren’t exactly wondering if it was a coincidence, but rather…what would happen next!
Denial…anger….depression….bargaining…acceptance. That’s the infamous 5 stages of grief. Since my husband died I’ve been on my own grief journey. So where am I up to? Obviously past denial, but have I reached acceptance yet? Is there anything after acceptance or is that the end of the road? Well I’m going to bust this whole thing apart and hopefully everyone will stop talking about it to grieving people. I mean…seriously…..we have enough to deal with.
I wasn’t always grieving. In fact I used to be a person who tried to support others. Looking back I think I did this very badly though. In fact, I am appalled at the incredibly inappropriate things I said to these poor people, and the expectations I had of them. Yes…expectations! I actually expected them to come halfway so that I could feel OK too! Sheesh! 😫
Oh wow…you’re probably wondering where on earth I’m going with this topic! What on earth could possibly be positive about having a loved one die! Steady on though and let me explain. 🙂
Of course it’s not positive to lose someone you love, but there’s that old saying ‘for every cloud there is a silver lining’, and I want to focus on searching very hard to find some silver linings in what I know is a VERY dark, stormy cloud.