Denial…anger….depression….bargaining…acceptance. That’s the infamous 5 stages of grief. Since my husband died I’ve been on my own grief journey. So where am I up to? Obviously past denial, but have I reached acceptance yet? Is there anything after acceptance or is that the end of the road? Well I’m going to bust this whole thing apart and hopefully everyone will stop talking about it to grieving people. I mean…seriously…..we have enough to deal with.
Who is the executor of your estate? You know, the person who will administer your will? I remember my husband Norbert telling people “…and the first thing she did after we sold up and moved, was draaaag me along to the lawyers to draw up a new will.” This was said with that teasing element to his voice that told me he didn’t mind but that he thought I was just being typically over-efficient and he was magnanimously going along with what I wanted based on the ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life principle’. 😋 “What’s your rush?” he said.
I remember the moment exactly. I was sitting up in bed enjoying a morning coffee and catching up on social media, when all of a sudden an advertisement leaped out at me! It was like it was written just for me as it ticked every box… Travel! Walking! Gorgeous scenery! Plus….create a travel journal! Using watercolour! I was so excited! I made myself wait until I at least finished the coffee but then I booked the trip. Just like that. Except…..things didn’t work out quite the way I imagined.
This is an important topic, and I was thinking about it recently during a somewhat expensive (but blissful) 20 minute shoulder massage at Dubai airport before boarding my flight back home to Australia. In a life now in the past, I would instead have been sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair at the Gate, maybe with a polystyrene cup of coffee to keep me awake. So what’s changed? Have I won a lottery?
In Part 1 of this 2 part journal I left you in Lake Como. That was officially the end of the tour however I had booked for the ‘tour extension’ where a few people from two different tours joined together to travel on together. This meant that..again..I was travelling with strangers and this time, half of them did not know my story. So what happened next?
I was asked the question recently…”Are you feeling angry? Did you ever feel anger about what has happened ?” Hmmmm…it made me think. My wonderful husband Norbert was killed in a gliding accident so perhaps I should be angry. There are certainly a lot of options for anger if I allow myself to go down that path.