I stood in the middle of a vast expanse of nothingness, with a midday sun blazing down and dust eddying lazily around my feet. The blindingly blue sky stretched from horizon to horizon. I felt small and insignificant….and very, very sad, because this is where my husband died.
Do you want …or need… to travel solo, but you’re not quite ready to go it alone? After my husband Norbert died I was in that situation, and I have a suggestion that worked for me. Take along a personal trainer! 😃 No….not the kind that makes you do exercises in the hotel room, but the kind that shows you what to do, talks about how to manage alone, gives you confidence and encourages you.
This trip was a practice run for travelling solo. My husband and I had planned to spend our retirement doing lots of travel as both of us loved it, but since his tragic death, everything changed. Now my travel future would have to be about going it alone.
I know you’re thinking “How on earth can anyone fail at grief!” Of course you are absolutely correct and in fact the one truism that I learned on this journey is that the only right way to handle grief is your way. I believe it…really I do….but then that nasty illness called ‘anxiety’ finally beat me.
It was my Type A personality. My husband Norbert had nagged me for years and years that I should ‘do something about my love of watercolour’ but I never did because every time I tried to paint it didn’t turn out like the ‘masterpiece’ that was in my head…and I would tear it up. My husband Norbert used to tell me (constantly!!) I was my own toughest critic. 🙂
“Do you know a Norbert Gross?” This was the question asked of me when I opened my front door to two Police Officers. This is so hard to write, as it makes the memories flood back and my eyes well with tears. But first….perhaps some background…..